Wednesday, June 9, 2010

My Family

Dad was cooking at home. Dad is a brilliant cook, he loves experimenting in the kitchen. My mum is the opposite. She sees cooking as a chore so the passion is lacking and you can taste it. Sometimes she finds joy in cooking, only sometimes. I have 3 younger siblings, 1 sister and 2 brothers. We use to be close, but we drifted apart as time goes on. We have less in common as we get older. After dinner I go lie down in my room. I close my eyes and think of my high school friends. I find my phone and call Rei but no answer. Then I close my eyes and drown myself in negativity and fall asleep.

I'm so dumb

One day I sat hidden between book shelves in the library crying quietly. I felt dumb, I buried my face in my hands. I heard someone approach and I quickly wiped my face with my sleeve, stood up and ran in to the bathroom. I looked at my red eyes in the mirror, I looked hideous. I washed my face and went back to my table to study. It was useless, I sat there staring at the pages for hours. Not absorbing any information. In dismay, I gathered my things and went home.

Things don't always turn out the way you expect

University, oh my… it’s so big, in every way. A lot more people, a lot more buildings a lot more homework. My first few weeks were spent alone in the library, drowning in all the reports and assignments. It was overwhelming and I felt inadequate, that I was not suited for University because I was not excelling.

Change

It was time to say goodbye to my high school friends. We all wanted to go down different paths and none of us ended up at the same University. I was sad to say good bye to them. One of the important lessons I learnt was ‘The only constant thing in life is change’. Change… I learnt to be malleable and adapt to different environments but it was not easy.

Entering a new chapter

The year 12 exams came and went quickly like a lightning strike. It would determine our futures, the next stage in our lives. I was confident that I tried my best but I was not sure if it would be enough. Waiting for the results felt like an eternity. I counted the weeks, the days, the minutes and the seconds. Finally the results came and I held my breath. I looked at the envelope and slowly opened it. I saw I got in to the University that I wanted. I jumped up and down like a little toddler on a jumping castle.
My parents did not allow me to date in high school. I had to focus on my studies and try to get in to a good university. I listened to them & I did not date. I didn’t look at boys and they didn’t look at me. I am quite plain looking. I have dark straight hair, big expressive brown eyes, a small mouth. I’m average in height but in my year level I’m considered short, in class photos I was always put in the front row. Tall people were in the back row. I was not a confident girl, in class I would mumble and talk quietly like a mouse. I was comfortable around my friends, I could laugh and joke around with them easily.

Monday, June 7, 2010

Introduction

A heart, is like a flower. When nurtured and loved, it grows and blooms into great beauty. Fulfilling its purpose, in life. When neglected and deprived of love, it sadly wilts away from the world. My heart has learned many lessons; some made it stronger, others made it weaker. My heart has given all it can… now there is nothing left. It is sadly wilting away in the cold and darkness.